Friday, December 07, 2007

- Sorry, did you say something?

I had everything planned out so nice and simple. I was to knit lace after bought patterns calmly by the fire in the evenings after busy day all through December. I was to sip glögg and pet the fabric every now and then and have some Christmas Carols playing softly in the background. It would have been a perfect December.

And now …this is so not what I meant. This is not calming me down in the midst of the Christmas preparations.

When I went to bed last night I could not get the sweater out of my mind and was getting a little bit excited about the yarn and started to have different sweater possibilities swirling in my head, first it was just one, then new ones kept coming and going. And I woke up at five in the morning and thought I knew what I wanted to do. So I lay there in the pit dark (like it can be in the country) for an hour thinking about the construction details and unsolved questions and had it difficult to stay put until six. This calm picture with lace knitting was quickly cast aside and I found myself thinking solely of the sweater.

I hate (maybe hate is a bit strong word, but this is the part of me that is impossible to control and impossible to mould into rational behaviour) this part in me, I sort of drift into my own world with all the stuff that needs to be mapped out with the work in design process, I don’t hear, I don’t pay attention, I’m on an autopilot all day and the kids complain every now and then that Mom, you are not listening when the usual aha, hmm, interesting, really? is not an appropriate answer. And they are right, I am not listening. I know me, I have been here so many times before and the kids have been competing all their lives with my distractions. But they never were and are not a stupid three and they have always found their ways to make me hear and pay attention in the end… But I feel that if I don’t seize the moment, the excitement will wear off and I may end up not doing the design so I will not dare to ignore the sweater voice.

I know this must sound a bit odd - understatement? - but it is like the sweater is taking my life or is having me as a means to come alive…

This lasts as long as I have all the parts worked out. After that it is mostly smooth enjoyable sailing and then I’m all ears for anyone. I love my sweater idea, it is really going to be Winter Forest if only I can make out the details…
Which right now are not working, I am having doubts with my needle size, and the construction with the math is giving me a headache. Yet, I would not give up this even if I could. Because this really is the salt in my life.


  1. I am so like that, getting obsessed with new projects. My kids have to remind me to feed them sometimes, I get so bad. It's nice to hear I'm not alone. I'll be anxious to see what comes out of all this.


  2. Anonymous19:35

    Lene, I haven't been checking my e-mails or going to your blog for so long that today I thought I would treat myself to some reading....and, there you are with many posts!!! I am blessed today. First, your sweater, Winter Forest, sounds like a perfect theme with so many ways to show what it looks like outside in the winter. The first thing that came to my mind was a off-white sweater I saw for sale in the "Coldwater Creek" mail order catalog...about six different textures and shades of the off-white, ercu, light tans, very light greens and blues (mostly off-white in them). Anyway, it looked like the pastel painting of a pine and birch trees laden with snow. Oh, important note, the different yarns were done in blocks. Looked like 10" by10". Thank you for sharing my visual excitment. Take care.Jeanie

  3. Wow. My boyfriend has complained that I do the same thing: get so focused on a project that he can't get my attention. I'm so glad that it isn't just me. I'm looking forward to seeing your new design! What yarn are you using?

  4. By all means, I agree you should listen closely to the Sweater Goddess/Faerie/Whoever.. and just do it..... Winter Forest calls you, answer.

  5. "The sweater voice" - perfect! I SO know what you mean!

  6. You are not alone in this! I love it when the muse comes calling, even if all other things must be put aside lest the inspiration be lost... It is always good to answer these calls.

  7. It is not odd... it is the creative, the designer, the artist in you.
    Because what you do with the color and the line and the texture... it is art. And the artist in you can not be ignored or put aside for sometime later. Surely your dancing daughter must understand that feeling? When the music calls and the body answers and there is no attention left for the mundane, hum-drum, regular old day.
    It may be inconvenient, and maybe annoying to those outside the sphere, but it is also something to celebrate.

  8. I'm certain that your children have benefited more than suffered, from having a mother who is creative and alive to her own needs.

  9. Such a wonderful description of that feeling! I've been hit with it lately, though not the knitting flavor of it, but it's the same thing - an obsession. My darn job is getting in the way...

    I love hearing about life on the other side of the Arctic ocean.

    -Kate in AK

  10. I know that feeling too, and I'm sure my kids could trade stories with yours.

    I believe that one reason we [the artistic, whatever our medium or media] are here on earth is to learn how to balance our need to create with the needs of the beings and projects which we have created.

    And I know that the times when I am in the flow of creativity, are the times when I feel closest to the Creator.

    Which does not make it any the less jarring when the very real and important needs of one or more of my children collide head-on with my need to focus on the task at hand.

    Thankfully, mine are all grown or nearly-grown, and they know how to make sandwiches and are dealing with their own creativity-accountability challenges.