Okey, who am I kidding? I want it all, it is 24 days until Christmas, plenty of time to for the latter.
I love doing things. I love the magic of this season, the elves, the food, the deserts, the drinks, the gifts, candles, carols, fires, snow, starry cold nights, ...
So I clean... and find out that no matter how much I clean today, and if I clean 15 hours straight for a fortnight , there is no way my whole house is going to glow by Christmas. It is never going to glow, but I will thrive for it.
If I clean thoroughly, it is going to be a challenge to find the time to make food and bake and get gifts but I can do it... I would love to prepare every single food item from the scratch, but for that I should have started last year. Let's face it, if I spend 12 hours in the kitchen, two days in a row, some stuff will turn out beautifully while others will not and something is destined to burn or not rise or turn sour in the myriad ways it is possible for food to turn sour. If I close my eyes and look deeper into my memory, I can see me sneaking in the dark of the night to the compost heap with watery eyes and ruined dinner. Of course I will ignore this, it is never going to happen again because this time I will be very cautious, I will pay attention, I will measure, weight, set the timer, it will be like clockwork; there will be no room for human error, it will work out.
I know my family does not have the same expectations, because they don't live inside my head and they have lived through the many holiday seasons with me and none of them have been perfect, let's just say so far. Not a single one. No matter how hard I have tried, my cooking has not been all that great (I won't even mention about the turkey I managed to ruin totally), my deserts might sometimes have turned out good tasting if not all that good looking, I have managed to nail the present thing on a few rare occasions, but the family has always (I might be exaggerating a little bit here, but this is the season for it) been good about everything. It is because they have not had a clue (I might have told them, I don't remember, blame the cinnamon and cardamom fumes) how perfect I would have loved everything to be. Oh, but they will be gobsmacked this year when they arrive, because finally, they are going to have the best Christmas ever. I cannot help myself. I will try one more time. (And then next year once more, if it does not work out this time.)
It really helped me to write all this down. Now that it is all out in the open, and now that you all know what my expectations are, we are good...
I can hear you and ok, I will settle for less, but only for a little less. You should not try to talk me out of this...
Ok ... I promise, I will cut corners here and there, but I will do it tastefully and gracefully. My corners will be cut perfectly - in the spirit of the season; my shortcuts will be done thoughtfully and with good taste.
I had good intentions of making a festive new banner with merry elves singing carols. The elves are singing carols alright, but what I really don't understand is why do they look so serious. After the picture was completed, I took a long look at it, expecting it to be something totally different, and the reality hit me, as it always does. I realized that they look different than my intentions... We could always say that they are perfect in their serious way.
And we can all have a perfect holiday season, it can be perfect in so many different ways, it just depends on your point of view, you can decide yourself what is your perfect.
Check the first thing off the list: a new banner. (Perfect.)
Wool with you,