Thursday, May 24, 2012

Still here


I thought I would write this post to tell you that I am going to be absent from the blog for a while. While typing that I suddenly realized that I should really do the opposite, write more. 


My daughter is having a rough ride with her epilepsy at the moment and has been in and out of the hospital and even though we as a family are very used to the battle with the disease, every single dip for the worst always pushes me off balance a bit. More than six years ago I wrote my first post to distract me from all the worry. 


The blog was a good place to escape to and to gain some strength from. During those first posts we were facing few very difficult weeks. Today I opened my laptop to tell you that I would be off-line and now that I sit here, I think that I truly need this blog again. I need to keep my head above the water, so I will try to keep this blog alive for me, even though right at this moment I feel that I don't have much to share.

But I do and I have a lot to be happy about even at this moment,  I just need to look little harder. So instead of saying I am staying off, this is just a short note to let you know that I am still here.

Wool as always,
Lene

PS. I kept this all from the blog for quite a while, but epilepsy still carries lots of stigma and talking openly about this hopefully will help to make a difference.

98 comments:

  1. Dear Lene,

    I can't believe that six years has passed since that first post. I still remember it vividly, you wrote so eloquently about it. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Kind regards,
    Dana

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  2. Lene, your blog and your work brings me so much joy. Thank you for sharing about the struggles that you are going through. Your daughter and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. I have read and watched in wonder through the years of your beautiful handiwork and world that you live in. I am sorry that your daughter is going through a difficult time with her illness. I will be thinking about you and your family.

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  4. Beth in Maryland19:53

    Just to see your beautiful photographs is enough reason to travel to Lene's Blogland as often as possible! My well-wishes to your dear daughter as well as to you and all the family; may the clouds lift very soon.

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  5. I do that too. When I am hurt, sad, and scared I hide from the world. I know now that the thing I don't want to do, socialize, is the best thing for me. I like your metaphor of keeping your head above water. I think it keeps me grounded in reality. That this too shall pass...

    I don't think there's a stigma attached to epilepsy in Canada. My eldest son has ADD/Tourette's and I have found some people are still ignorant about the Tourette's especially. I think talking about it is the best possible thing to do. When people say something rude, I smile and try to gently set them straight. Usually it's just ignorance and they are pleased to learn more about it.

    Best wishes to your family. I hope your daughter gets better very soon.

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  6. You have many, many readers who are in awe of the beauty that flows from your heart and hands. I know that we all send you and your family such support and encouragement as we can.
    There is nothing more difficult than feeling helpless in the moments when we must watch a beloved child suffer with an illness or disease.
    Take care and I hope that you can feel the love and support of your readers.

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  7. Your posts are always a joy for me, no matter what the subject. I know it must be hard to talk about your daughter's condition, but I think you're right to do so. The only hope of stopping people being judgmental is to educate them. I know things will work out for the best, but I hope this particular struggle is a very brief one.

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  8. Anonymous20:13

    My best wishes for a speedy resolution to the current medical problems. Leaving with a chronic condition is not easy and having to see our children go through that is always very difficult.

    I have enjoyed seeing your world through what you have included in your blog. It gives me a chance to feel like I am traveling, it opens my world a bit.

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  9. My best wishes to you and your family. I love seeing your pictures...I haven't been reading your blog very long.

    Stay strong through the hard times....I will be sending good thoughts your way.

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  10. Minua ovat aina käsityöt kantaneet yli vaikeiden aikojen ja valmiiden töiden jakaminen blogissani. Voimia sinulle arkeesi. Lapsen sairaus on aina varsinkin äidille vaikea paikka. Sitä niin mielellään ottaisi lapselta sairauden omille harteilleen kantaakseen sen taakan. Pura oloasi kauniisiin käsitöihin, joita teet. Se helpottaa, kun sydän itkee. Voimahaleja sinulle ja perheellesi.

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  11. Thinking of you and your family Lene and praying you have the strength to hang in there.
    Reflecting on your post leads me to admit I am quite sure we are all the same and blogging is our own little way to escape reality if only for a little while.
    We (readers) love to see your seasonal banners, your beautiful knitting and hear about your little corner of the world, in this case, the Arctic circle.
    Good thoughts and lots of hugs going your way right at this moment!
    God bless,

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  12. Lene sending you and your daughter cyber-hugs. Anything you write is wonderful and if we can support you during this difficult time you know we will. X

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  13. Anonymous20:43

    I struggle with an illness that is little understood and can be quite debilitating. There are many hours spent in waiting rooms (how appropriate that name is!) and hospital beds. I try to remain upbeat by knitting as much and as fast as I can. After all, I still have to be here if I have an unfinished project, right?
    Lene, you have friends all over the world who love to see little parts of your life (the ice is finally off your lake!), and we can share your burdens as well, as much or as little as you like. Take care, keep strong, and my your daughter's struggle be a short and mild one.
    Anne from Minnesota

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  14. Anonymous20:44

    We are here for you Lene. Whatever you need to say (or don't say).

    keep busy - stay strong!

    blessings to you & your family

    -deni

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  15. Just a few words from a lurker wishing you and your family the best in this difficult time. I do so enjoy peeks into your world. Thank you for sharing it all with us.

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  16. Lizzi20:57

    Take your time - blog or don't blog - but whatever you do, don't feel pressured in anyway.

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  17. Dear Lene,
    Thank you for sharing your life and your work with us. Last week, I used your lake photos to explain to my 90 year old father why we are not going to the Canadian north to go fishing until September! Thinking of you and your family with gratitude.

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  18. Caroline aka FiberTribe21:09

    Sending all healing and easing thoughts to you and your family, Lene. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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  19. Anonymous21:30

    Wishing you and your family good thoughts. Helen

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  20. Ludmilla21:31

    Your art (photos, drawings, etc.) brings me great pleasure. I'm sorry you're going through difficulties right now. Please share your trials and tribulations as much as you wish. Your cyber-friends will not judge. Share as much as you like and think would be educational, please.

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  21. Thank you for frankly speaking about your daughter's struggle and your concern for her. I am glad that you will write while this latest episode goes on. This is because what you say means as much to your readers as, apparently, the composition of the posts does for you.

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  22. Wishing your daughter well, and hoping you have all the support (of whatever kind) that you need, Lene.
    In case it's of any use at all, may I recommend a book: The Music Room by William Fiennes (there's a short piece about it here - http://bit.ly/GCzfIo ).

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  23. I am glad that you are still here, Lene. I know how it is to have a child with epilepsy, it is indeed a worry.

    I wish you well - both you and your daughter.

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  24. Anonymous21:44

    Lene,

    So sorry to hear about your daughter's health troubles and wishing her a speedy and positive outcome.

    Good on you for being brave and writing/talking about epilepsy. It's a chronic condition that nobody chooses and being able to talk about it helps to dissolve the stigma.

    Take the best of care!

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  25. Betty22:02

    I feel for you. I hope your daughter gets better and I hope your worry is relieved soon.

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  26. knitomi22:06

    Lene, so sorry to hear about your daughter, I wish both of you the very best!

    As for your blog, I have really enjoyed seeing all the beautiful things you have created - what I especially like is that your love of color and form comes shining through :))

    Keeping the blog going means that you are doing exactly what the following wise words ( just read at another blog) say:

    When you reach the end of your rope…tie another knot and hang on!

    Ingrid

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  27. Carmen22:09

    My thoughts are with you and yours at this time. I have a friend who has the same illness and have had a glimpse on how difficult life can be. I am happy that you decided to stay on-line. I love your blog so much, your perspective is so fresh and different and I was coming over several times every day in the hope that you had posted. Welcome back, we are here with you.

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  28. i'm dealing with my mom's emphysema and congestive heart failure...your post today is pushing me to post there every day. Something. Anything. To get it out of me and into the world. While it can be a big scary place, the blog-land can be full of support and hugs from around the world. in fact, here's a hug from just outside Boston, MA. Doctors are doing amazing things with epilepsy these days... I'm sure your daughter has your strength to battle through. My thoughts and prayer are with you. Walk. Think. Breathe. Then walk again.

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  29. Anonymous22:40

    Thank you for sharing your life in photos and words. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  30. Marcy22:51

    Lene, Sounds like I am not alone in feeling that we blog-readers want to be here for you, especially during the tough times. It has helped me to know that people care during my down-times, and I hope you know that we care about you. Do what feels best in your heart.

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  31. Anonymous23:05

    Dear Lene,
    You don't know me but I follow your blog closely and tell me friends and family about your beautiful photos, creations, stories often. Several years ago when it when the opportunity arose I claimed my dual citizenship with Finland (my mother and her family are all Finn's). And now I'm so excited my daughter is able to have dual citizenship as well. Children are a precious wonder and I'll send thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time. There are loads of people supporting you if not physically, mentally all through the wonder of the technology connections!

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  32. Anonymous00:43

    My thoughts are with you and your family. Keep your head up, enjoy the beautiful lake (Welcome Spring!!!), and I'll look forward to whatever posts come our way.

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  33. Anonymous00:57

    Oh so sorry about your daughter. What a scary disease you have to deal with. Please know, even though I don't say much on here, I do listen and follow you regularly, and personally, I feel you have a LOT to say and a LOT to show. Please don't give up for us and especially for YOU! Thanks!

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  34. My thoughts and positive Mojo headed your daughter's way. My cousin suffers from epilepsy as well. It's a difficult time to be sure.

    Even if all you post is a picture of the lake, or your dogs I do so look forward to your posts. The lake is high today.

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  35. Glad to read you'll be here,
    Bloggers have a way of keeping you holding on...when times in life pull you to darkness and fear

    we're here...you were never intended to go through this alone

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  36. Anonymous02:41

    Ah, it is so painful when children are not well, I always feel that it would be so much easier and less painful to be ill myself! So sorry to hear of this difficult time for all your family.

    Cecilia

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  37. Best wishes Lene!

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  38. Anonymous04:15

    Dear Lene

    I wish you and your family peace.
    I'm sorry that she is having a hard time with the epilepsy.

    Thank you for letting us know about your family's struggles. I think that you are right - by mentioning the seizures you WILL help someone else in the same boat.
    margieinmaryland
    PS even if you're not crafting, we always like seeing what Finland looks like.... But please, don't stress yourself with this blog

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  39. I'm so sorry you and your family have to struggle with epilepsy. Helping a child through a difficult time can make for a heavy heart. I hope her health improves and that you find some peace in your beautiful creations.

    Jane

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  40. Heather05:11

    Thank you for sharing your art, your thoughts and your time with us. From Canada, I send warm springy thoughts and best wishes to you and your family.

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  41. Karen05:41

    There's nothing harder than having a sick child. I hope the crisis resolves itself soon.

    You have such a gracious touch with words, photos, and knitting, and such a wonderful imagination. It's a joy to follow your blog. I hope this trying time is brief.

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  42. Karen05:48

    I do check in often to see if you have written. Glad to hear that you are going to stay connected through this difficult time. Sending you and your family big hugs.

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  43. Kimmy05:54

    Lene, keeping you, your daughter and family in my prayers. Sending hope and encouragement.

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  44. Dear Lene,

    feel cuddled and be confirmed that all my good thoughts are with your daughter, with you and your beloved ones.

    When you feel to be trapped in a deep pit, you feel like you could never manage to climb out, again. Indeed,deep pits are like the arctic sun:
    for months she seems to have escaped... but she comes back! And her rays embrace you with warmth.

    Suggestion: what, if you would knit something for her, including your sorrow in every single st.?

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  45. Thank you, Lene, for continuing your blog. I believe that all will be well and all will be well.

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  46. you are right, epilepsy is connected with stigma, but the only ones who can lift it off are the patients themselves and their families, by being open and not ashamed. I work as the managing director for the epilepsy association in my country, so I know a little about this disease and I wish you and your family the best.
    best wishes from Iceland
    Frida

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  47. So sorry you are dealing with all of this again, I hope your daughter gets things turned around. Epilepsy is so scary and getting the meds right can be so difficult.
    Hugs to you and your family.
    Meredith

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  48. I really enjoy your blog and am glad you will continue. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

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  49. Anonymous16:01

    I think that I understand a little of the anguish you are going through. I have a family member who has numerous issues and it would be so easy to bury it away. Thank you for your honesty and for looking for ways to keep yourself healthy. That in turn should help your daughter.

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  50. Anonymous16:01

    I'm Ros and I live in England. I've been reading your blog for a while now and I love the creativity, inspiration and beauty in it. But I most love that you are real about what is happening around you. You are a blessing.

    I'm praying for you and your daughter.

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  51. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers. big hugs!

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  52. Anonymous17:03

    Joy filled my heart when you said that you have much to be happy about, that you just need to look a little harder. Sometimes it's so very difficult to see when we are knee-deep in problems and fear, but there is so much to be thankful for. Our children come to us with so many unique and strange qualities. Some qualities make us sad and others delight us. The blessings are always there...we just have to look. Our heavenly Father knows all and sees all and just wants you to come to Him with the good and the bad. His love is beyond measure and He is there for you. Much love and concern for you and your family, Lene

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  53. I've been checking your blog and wondering if that lake was ever going to melt? It's beautiful in all it's spring glory. Thinking of you and hoping for the best for your daughter.

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  54. Jeannie18:20

    good luck to you and your daughter. I love reading this blog, all the wonderful things you make. I like to hear about your thought process. If nothing else, tell us about the beautiful place where you live and your pets! Yours is a unique voice, thank you for letting us hear it!

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  55. Welcome back! So wonderful to hear tales from your part of the world and to see your creative work evolve. Many gentle thoughts to your daughter and to you form this little hill in San Francisco.

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  56. Anonymous18:53

    Dear Lene,
    My heart is with you. We too raised a daughter with epilepsy and understand a little of the struggle you are going through. Take time to find the joy in your life and the many friends of your blog.
    Peace and all good wishes, Ann

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  57. I can't understand the same struggle as my struggle is different. I can understand the horror and heart sinking feeling when something is going on with your child. I wish you the best Lene wheither you decide to go with writing or typing. We all have to do what is best, and creates harmony for each of us.

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  58. Anonymous21:26

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, Lene. It must be so difficult for you but you do have people pulling for you. -Catherine

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  59. Anonymous21:33

    Thank you for sharing for as you share we can return to you love, prayer and energy for both you and your daughter along with some peace in your heart from worry.

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  60. Anonymous03:01

    Dear Lene, it always makes me glad to hear of your news be it a small struggle with the fit of a baby sweater or a huge struggle like what you are facing now. This invisible community is right here with you. All the best to you and your family from our little corner in Maine.

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  61. Lene,

    I almost never comment on a blog even if I read it all the time. However, reading your blog is always like a pleasant visit with a friend. One you might not see often but just pick up where you last left off. I always read you when I sign onto my reader. You are one of a handful that I can say that about. It is so nice to see what is going on so far from here and yet it seems so similar. I can totally relate to what you are saying about needing a place to go for you when times are tough. I have been raising four great granddaughters for more than 14 years and two have serious illnesses that also carry a stigma. Mental illness. My time for crafting and reading have been very limited at times but I do find that those times are what help keep me going. You bring so much joy to so many with your art and your gift of presentation. Do what you can, when you can, and know that we are out here, in many different parts of the world cheering you on. My prayers are with your daughter.

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  62. http://stashqueen.typepad.com06:31

    Best wishes for you and your daughter from a Canadian admirer. I have been reading your blog for five years and have derived much enjoyment from seeing your photos and your projects. You do have friends all over the world sending good energy your way.

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  63. Anonymous13:45

    Lene,
    Your blog, the beautiful photos and your lovely handwork inspire me. Your daughter and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep courage and take small joys where you find them. Epilepsy is a hard disease indeed, and, yes, a fearful one for those who do not understand it and happen to witness a seizure. In the US I don't think there is as much stigma as there once was thankfully. My little nephew struggles with this too, as well as severe brain damage caused by an allergic reaction to anti-seizure medications. But he continues to struggle through and has become a source of inspiration and joy (as I know your dear daughter is) to all who meet him. Soldier on braveheart!

    Mary

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  64. Kate17:09

    Thank you for sharing...for your sharing helps appreciative readers keep their own heads above water. Your grace, honesty, and creative spirit helps heal.

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  65. Thinking of you at this difficult time.
    I, like many others .... have found such Joy in your Blog ... Thank You

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  66. Anonymous00:08

    Hugs from California. You are both in my thoughts. Deb

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  67. Its good to hear you will still be posting on the blog. I always enjoy chwecking in with you to see what you have been doing. It makes my day

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  68. Anonymous03:00

    Lene, Please know that I do so very much enjoy reading your blog and admiring your great talents. For me, as a Californian of Finnish descent (Dad's family came to US in 1917) and now living in Minnesota, I learn so much about my Finnish heritage. Unfortunately, I was too stubborn to learn the language although have in recent years become aware of some of the old traditional customs. It is also consoling read about your "humanness" through your blog, proof that we are often stronger than we give ourselves credit for and it isn't a sign of weakness to lean on others for support in times of need. Know that my prayers and thougts are with you.

    Sassyspins

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  69. I send healing thoughts and wishes from Colorado. I know first hand the stress involved with dealing with daughters who have chronic health issues. Thank you for sharing. I so enjoy reading your blog. You are so very gifted in many ways.

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  70. Lovely landscape photos!
    Thanks for posting - we really appreciate your blog.

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  71. moiraeknittoo21:26

    I'm glad you're sharing, so we can all send good wishes to you and your family. And I hope that you continue to share, and write, and take solace in a community, virtual though it may be, who is very glad you're here. Take care!

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  72. Lene, I'm so sorry to hear this has been a difficult time for your daughter's health and of the care that is weighing you down. But thank you for sharing it with your blog. I hope it will indeed prove a solace to you.

    One thing I really admire about you is your emotional wisdom and intuition. Mostly we get to see this with regard to knitting, when you realize what isn't working for you about a project or when you tell us how you decided what to make next. You are really good at deciphering your own emotions and urges, much more than I am anyway! But today it seems this led you to blog more rather than less. I hope this ability to listen and untangle helps you through this rough patch.

    Your photographs seem like a good metaphor for the feeling of emotional overwhelm, but I know you have been looking forward so much to the ice melting--so instead I hope they bring you some of that joy and hope you mentioned.

    Best wishes from Vermont.

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  73. Carol in Md22:46

    I'm so sorry to hear things are so rough with her illness right now. I'm glad you have this blog as an outlet - and that you have so many people here who care about you. Please share what you need to whenever you need to. May all this pass soon...

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  74. Yes, please do post. If it helps you, that's exactly what you should do. I hope things will even out for your daughter soon. You will open folks eyes about epilepsy and will help others, while you're helping you.
    (((hugs)))

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  75. Warmest best wishes for you and your daughter from southern California to the arctic circle! Stigma grows best in the dark, so shed light for us all! Love to you!

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  76. Anonymous04:48

    Dear Lene,

    Remember that you are not alone. Sending healing and peaceful thoughts to you and your family.

    Jan

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  77. good luck and hope all goes well for your family

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  78. Voimia ja jaksamista siun tyttärelle ja koko perheelle.

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  79. Mary in Chicago02:18

    Best to you & your family.

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  80. I always enjoy your wonderful creativity. Hope you reach calmer waters soon.

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  81. Dear Lene,

    I am sending you and your family love and best wishes.

    Reading your blog is also an escape for me, I get to travel to a country that I love and miss as well as share the work of a talented artist that I find inspiring.

    Thank you for having the courage to talk about something painful, distressing and personal. That too is inspirational to so many people.

    Kiitos
    Bekky

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  82. Anonymous13:41

    Oh, Lene, I am so sorry your daughter is having such a hard time. Give her the best wishes for health from Connecticut, USA.

    Ellen in Conn.

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  83. Look! Your trees are so happy that the ice has melted that they're all going wading.

    I hope your daughter improves rapidly. And I'm glad you've decided to keep posting. I love your posts.

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  84. Thinking of you and your family, and sending hopes of health and peace.

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  85. I am so glad you decided to tell us and keep your blog open. We are here for you and your daughter. You have inspired me so much and we will keep your family in our prayers.

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  86. Mary Jane22:22

    Sorry that your daughter is ill and you are going through a difficult time with her. I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to each post. If you are stuck for something to write about, how about writing what life is like in your part of the world. I live in Canada and would love to learm more about a different northern country.

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  87. Mitty06:14

    {{Hugs}} Lene. I know from experience that dealing with a child's chronic illness takes an emotional toll. I'm glad the blogging helps--I do enjoy reading so much, although I hardly ever comment. My thoughts are with you.

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  88. Thank you for sharing, and please know that we are all sending many, many positive thoughts to you and your daughter. I think a mother's heart hurts most when her children are suffering; I hope the ride becomes much smoother very soon. Your blog (and great pictures!) are things that make me happy ~ thank you very much!

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  89. I'm so sorry. My sister had some epileptic issues after a car accident, and I spent a night in the Children's hospital with a friend of mine until it was determined that her infant daughter was having febrile seizures. But I've never been aware of a stigma attached it. That WOULD only make it worse.

    May the LORD give you and yours strength and grace in this time of trial.

    DMartin

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  90. Anonymous16:59

    I also want to wish your daughter better days and speedy recovery and strength and piece of mind to you. I am SO happy my daughter mentioned, while envying my small feet, that your dancing daughter's feet and ankles are beautiful and that she has modeled your socks in your blog. "What blog?", I asked her. "Well, the one where she has her knittings and stuff, I've seen it, but don't remember what it's called." Because I also knit a lot, I texted your daughter and asked her for the address and now I'm so impressed with all the beautiful and fun things you've made. You're a true artist! The drawings, the knittings, the photographs... No wonder our daughters are such good friends, since we also seem to view the world from a similar angle. Though I just make things according to patterns and can't draw if my life depended on it :) I'll be thinking of you and your daughter. Hugs, Jaana

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  91. Anonymous17:43

    When I was diagnosed with cancer last summer, people all over America were praying for me and I felt very surrounded by love and prayer. Now you are surrounded by love from around the world, in my case specifically from Zeeland, Michigan! I love reading your blog although I am sad it was started during a hard time. Writing about things is a good comfort.

    Laura from beautiful West Michigan

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  92. Dear Lene,
    I think of you and your family, especially your daughter and wish her all the best. May all the loving thoughts from your readers around the world help you a little bit in this difficult time.

    Claudia from Germany

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  93. There's a lot talk about writing in a gratitude journal every day. I imagine your blog is much the same thing. Sending positive thoughts, light and energy to you and yours :)

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  94. Lori07:53

    Thank you so much for your art, your eye and your sensitivity. Know that even far away here in Oregon I wish I could really know you and take you to lunch and give you a hug or birthday gift. I enjoy the gift of your blog so much. I think about you and your blog and your life so far away alot, even when I'm not reading it, because we knit. We are the same but because of our location on this planet we are different and I love bolth these things about you and myself. I hope you keep writing for along time for purely selfish reasons! When some people stop for no reason or an unexplained reason it leaves a hole in the Internet. And maybe in some of our lives. A tiny hole maybe but a hole nonetheless. Stay as long as you can and kee making me smile and think. Thank you. Lori

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  95. Thinking of you and your family. I have followed your blog for years and love it.

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  96. Yours is one of the first blogs I started reading, many years ago, and is one that I still look forward to visiting. I always enjoy seeing what you are up to.

    Along with others, I send you good vibrations as you deal with your family health issue.

    Please know that people all over the world are thinking of you all, and wishing you well.

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  97. My good thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family. Many hugs through cyberspace to you.

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  98. When my husband took ill with pneumonia in 2008, I was too busy with worry to blog. Then he died and I had too much grief to share. My blog was there waiting for me and it did help for me to put those words out on the internet, even if no one else ever saw them. I don't always read your blog regularly, but was so happy to see the new look and your creativity again. I hope your daughter is doing better. Feel free to share with us if you wish. There are real people on the other side of your screen that wish you and your family well.

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