How was your Christmas?
Mine was good. I had all my girls at the table the same time and that was the best part. Having them home makes me whole and content. I keep looking proudly at my big girls wondering where did they come from? And where did the little girls with long braids who believed in Santa Claus go?
The communicating between us these days happens by the cellular more and more and because of that I am very pleased to have received a new telephone. When I carry around my new small telephone, I feel like I have the girls safely stored inside the tiny precious piece of equipment. I have pictures there and can look at them whenever I feel like it by flipping it open and anytime I need to with one smooth press of a button I can reach them. I had a telephone earlier, but a very modest one (it made me look totally over the hill at times) and this one makes me very, very happy. Do you suppose the girls would like to live in a nice little cosy? Should I make one?
Are you feeling sick of overeating chocolate yet? I am. Right now I feel like I should give up chocolate for the entire year, but I know this feeling will pass, two to three weeks without cacao and I am totally recovered.
The year is coming to an end and I swear I have never before been this sick and tired of the darkness, kaamos as we call it. The days have been darker than dark. Now that January is here, it will get lighter and this is a fact and this has not changed during the past decades like the weather. It rained right after Christmas and I was looking at the white snow sadly turning into dangerous ice or melting into dreadful dirty puddles. It is getting a little colder now and hopefully the real winter will start. This is a second winter in a row when the weather has been very strange. I have been cleaning away the Christmas stuff already, feeling that the sooner I get them out, the sooner the spring with light will come. I felt that the huge tree was sucking up all the light.
The yoke construction was not easy to think before hand either. I have gone through the notes many times trying to figure out the problem rows where the yoke is separated into sleeves and the main part and then cast aside all the worries and thought that I just would go ahead and rip and re-think when necessary. I’ll see how this works out and you will be the first one to know.
I tried to knit this inside out and - thank you for your suggestion - outside out knitting inside instead of purling outside, but did not like either of these methods. I guess this old dog does not learn new tricks. As I have mentioned so many times that you must be sick of hearing it again, I love stockinette, I feel like stockinette just flows and flies from my needles and with this purling business I feel that I need to stop after every single stitch and this gives me a feeling of a battle. Even though a good fight every once in a while is a good energy booster and some yarns and patterns can really put up good resistance where my victory is not granted, right now I‘m not in the mood for that kind of a challenge. To solve this situation, I have slowed down, I cannot keep up my speed with purls, so I will perform every stitch like steps of Finnish tango, enjoying the love and hate and passion and now this seems to be working - if not fine, at least well enough. But don’t expect this to be done any time soon.
I have 500 grams of this green yarn and I have already started squeezing the yarn ball to find out how much yardage I can get out of one 100 grams and if I need more and if I should order it now instead of in the very end. I know I have plenty for a long ordinary sweater but if I want to make the hem wider, possibly a lot wider, then where do I stand?
It is New Year again. Do you experience any after Christmas emptiness or New Year fear?
As always I find it difficult to let go of the old year and to be able to do it; I’d like to give myself a better new one. I would like to write a mile long list of the things I want to accomplish the next year but knowing me they would be very difficult to keep – this I will say with no regret, only as a fact. I did write a list of the things I would do if I were not the real me but the imaginary me, but I guess there is no use of publishing that list. It was interesting though, it had all these things that I know would be impossible to fulfil and therefore I am not going to try even but that took care of the need to make promises. There could be a list for the things I’d like to accomplish in the field of various crafts this coming year, but that list could end up being a bit overwhelming too. I tend to set the bar so high that it is impossible to reach or to come even close. This much I will say though that I will thrive for better results and will fight to keep my creative spirit alive and busy enough.
Busy enough – meaning what, you might ask? You know me, if I would need to think and take care of myself solely, I would only cook hot water to make tea and eat nuts for dinner and burn my candle madly at both ends doing my various crafty things. I should say: busy enough for the family and me to stay healthy and sane. The line here is very, very thin. It is so easy to venture into the land of creative madness. Even after days of roaming in this land either without a clue of my whereabouts or after passionate but vein treasure hunting, only a short break with everyday routines and a good meal and I can’t wait to get back there as soon as possible and am constantly looking for a good excuse or a right moment to escape there.
That land offers great joys and deep failures, and not being able to go there at all would be a great loss. I need to find a good balance – every day. Luckily as the girls grow older and need me less, I can set out on my adventures more often. The dogs and the cat won’t mind as long as the food bowls are filled regularly and there is plenty of fresh water.
(I will put in parenthesis here that I would love to knit myself a little black dress one of these days, I’m hoping it will happen this year, but if not, I will not look at it as a failure.)
This transition from the old year into the new will go nicely now since I am settled in my Winter Forest. I won’t need to fret whether or not the new project it worthy of the New Year. When the first couple of days of January are gone the New Year will feel like an old acquaintance again and the nervousness of having a pure white page is gone. I like history and all the familiar old things, so unknown surroundings and circumstances are daunting and I’m a bit difficult to talk into anything new, even definitely good new things make me suspicious. After the unavoidable has happened, I will adjust quickly and don’t complain any more.
So now I will not look back, because then I feel sad to leave this good old year behind, and I will not look forward, otherwise I will get uneasy and stressed of the unknown future, I will just look at my Winter Forest and keep purling until this transition period is gone, and life will continue as usual.
I better close now, since this is getting to be a too long one now.
If you feel that you are in the threshold of something great and new and exciting, go for it with open heart and wide mind!
And if you happen to be feeling like me, a little bit nervous and uneasy of the big unknown, have the courage to step into the New Year with a firm belief that all the old and good and familiar things will be there!