Saturday, July 28, 2007

Dear You,

Kille, 11 years this month!

It is not that I have not wanted to write; You and the blog have been on my mind daily and this blog silence has to do with everything else that has been screaming for my attention around here and the blog and the knitting, poor Henry, have been quietly waiting for some attention… I have written a lot in my mind but nothing has appeared on the screen. I have dreamt of knitting in the evenings when I have fallen asleep after an exhausting day. I have managed to cast on for the sleeves of Henry but I have not had much success, I have made more mistakes than I care to count and while I have stolen few minutes to knit few rows in the evening, the morning has always pointed out a couple of mistakes that I could not pass and which have had to be frogged. This cannot be going on for any longer now, I need my knitting time to be in peace with the world. And I need more than just a few minutes...

You might wonder what has kept me busy during the last couple of weeks?

Some work out in the yard – lots of work in the yard.
The blueberries are ripening in the forests and waiting to be picked. I have been picking some already. They are very delicious. Roaming around the forest is very relaxing, there is nothing but birds and wind in the tree tops, but it does not make up for lost knitting hours.
Some big scale housework, like washing the rag rugs and cleaning closets.

And getting ready to move one of the girls - Miss Legs, the dancer - to Helsinki in a few weeks what is very stressing and extremely difficult. And very stressing. Did I already mention that it is stressing? But over there she can dance to her heart’s content. She is only 15, will be 16 soon, but that fact really does not make me feel any better. She is bouncing around the house and chirping about the move and my heart is bleeding… Could somebody stop the clock? I wish this summer would never end.
Miss Legs got this book from a dear friend some time ago and has lined few things for me to sew and knit from the book. This is truly a lovely book and has many beautiful items in it for a ballerina in your life.
Ballet Life - Wear and Goods - ISBN4-579-11124-9
Out of the frustration and fear and nervousness I have got all kinds of odd jobs around the house done. Yesterday I was hauling loads of new soil into the greenhouse… It has been in need of new and fruity soil for quite some time now, and I did not plant there anything this summer because this job needed to be done first. Now it is clean and nice and organized for the next summer.

Under these stressful circumstances you would think that I would reach for something easy to knit. But I have not abandoned Henry yet because I have a feeling that I’m learning all the time and I do hope to get him done. I don't want to see him end up as an UFO.

I finished the body and steamed it lightly but I will give him a good bath when he is all done. You are supposed to knit the sleeves from top till cuff but I changed this because I don’t like to keep turning the heavy sweater on my lap. Today I’m taking the day off from all the jobs around the house. I have been more or less lying on the couch with Kille. We have been napping. It is very windy and overcast day. Perfect for resting. And would be for knitting as well. But because of all the soil work (I think) my left elbow is burning red and swollen and in need of a rest.

And yet another picture of the birthday boy.

28 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday to the sweet boy!
    It is very hard to let go of a child. So many emotions!

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  2. This is really a sweet boy. Happy birthday.
    I have a 17 years old daughter and it is true,it's hard to let go of a child.

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  3. I can't even imagine how hard it is to see her go, but her enthusiasm is a testament to your mothering!

    I hope your knitting becomes less stressful!

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  4. Kille and Henry are both very beautiful. Best wishes to your dancer and to you.

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  5. Congratulations to the birthday boy! Beautiful knitting, and my hart goes out on the daughter issue. It's lovely and so damn hard to see them growing. My son is 17. Sight. I can't believe it. But I wish all luck for your daughter, and really hope she'll enjoy and grow as a dancer down here.

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  6. Dear you - so nice to hear from you. I am not surprised with your short summer that you have to 'pack' yard work into a short period - hope the elbow is feeling better. Knitting will wait and Henry is looking beautiful! Show us your blueberries, I am interested in whether they are like what we picked in the wild in Nova Scotia. Please and thanks.
    Letting the little ones fly from the nest is not at all easy!

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  7. Kille, you look as though you are already choosing to come indoors, although it is not yet August. Perhaps you too need a little rest. Happy birthday, vähäinen määrä katti!

    Lene, I do know that feeling of needing to work very hard indeed, to push away the thoughts that insist on coming into your mind. She has to go, and she has to sail independently some time - as you did when you were her age - but it doesn't make it any easier I know. She has chosen such a challenging career path too, certainly not the easy option, but if you're called, you can't pretend you haven't heard.

    Keep busy and happy, dear heart. You have reminded me that our blueberries (we call them froachans) are ripening too, and the blackberries are almost ready as well. August is a busy month here, but is there anything more delicious than blackberry pie? Make sure that your daughter has a pie safely packaged to take with her - a little piece of home.

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  8. I know how you feel. Even though my son is 21 and has been living on his own for a couple of years, it was heartbreaking to see him off at the airport this week, on his way to China for two years. I wish you peace and a speedy recovery for your elbow.

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  9. Watching our chldren grow is the most wonderful and terrifying thing ever. I want to follow them and catch them before they fall even though I know they have to fall on their own to learn how to get up and keep going. I,too, have watched a daughter go off with a bleeding heart and a teary smile. Good thoughts are on their way to you.

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  10. I have a 15 year old daughter and her small attempts at stepping out on her own make me wistful. I don't envy you the separation. Because you are a good parent you are letting her go. Good for you!

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  11. Happy birthday to Kille and good luck to you with everything that is going on.

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  12. Happy birthday Kille! I think he is smiling in his nap picture. He must be dreaming of mice.

    Henry is BEAUTIFUL!

    Best wishes to your ballerina as she heads to Helsinki and hugs to the Mama that must let her go. (It is so hard to let our babies go sometimes, but we must, I suppose.)

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  13. Lene, it sounds as if you need this summer for working on something besides knitting. The winter snows will give you the rest and knitting time the you need soon enough. Enjoy the blueberries and your daughter.

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  14. Sharon08:16

    Happy Birthday to Kille. And many happy, encouraging, supportive thoughts going out to you and your daughter. It's hard not to hold their hand each step of the way. Yard work, house work and knitting are good things to put them to.

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  15. I understand your stress Lene,
    My Son left today to take a trip driving to visit many states before school starts.
    He will come home from his trip just in time to pack and leave to go away to school. So much stress in hour house to surround these trips to get him ready to go.
    It is so hard to let them go but what exciting experiences they are having!

    Happy Birthday to Kille!
    He is such a handsome kitty!

    Your Henry is looking very nice. I especially like the colors and the collar style.
    I am sending you thoughts of peace and relaxation today!

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  16. My daughter is also 15, almost 16. It is hard to see how quickly they change and are ready to fly!

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  17. At a time like this, there's nothing quite so comforting as a lapful of purring cat.

    My father endured a lot in his life, but he often said that the hardest thing he ever did was to leave me on the steps of my college residence hall, 1100 miles away from my home. It took all his resolve not to turn back to get me, because he knew it was for the best that I start out on my own.

    You know this will be the best for your ballerina. You don't have to like it -- as a mother, that's your prerogative. Yet you will move her to the big city, and watch her bloom, and be all the more proud of her growth.

    All the best, friend.

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  18. All best wishes to your daughter in her dancing career. Sympathy to her mom - the break is hard but thanks to today's ways of communicating it will be so much easier to follow each other's paths. Think of what separations were like before the days of email and the telephone.

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  19. Lizzie23:59

    It is said that cats rarely suffer from heart disease - one can see why. He is gorgeous.
    I think this time of year we are so conflicted about indoor and outdoor activites. It is so much
    easier to knit in the cold months.
    Your daughter sounds very well prepared - a credit to you.
    Lizzie

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  20. Elizabeth D04:47

    Oh how painful to let your girl leave so soon -- my heart feels for you!

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  21. What a sweet kittie. Henry is gorgeous; may its intricacies involve your mind as your daughter embarks on new adventures. Best wishes to you both.

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  22. Esther21:12

    Oh...how I understand your mom's heart bleeding...The birds leaving the nest for a new life somewhere else...I still have two of them at home, four elses have left...It makes me think of a song of Clémence Desrochers( poet from Québec,Canada), saying : "partez, partez mes enfants mais revenez vite..."Leave, leave, my children but come back rapidly..."

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  23. My mom says that kids have to get out of the house so that they can come back. All mothers are the same.Take it easy, kids are more able than the parents suppose... and wait when
    she's back plundering the fridge:P
    Kille is lovely and so is Henry.

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  24. Courage Lene. In time the fear will subside to be replaced by pride at your dancers accomplishments. Take all the time you need to nurse your soul and send the dancer on her way with sweet memories of home. She will need them in the days to come, even if she does not yet know it. Blueberry pie sounds like just the way to ease the heartache away!

    The birthday boy is indeed a handsome one and seems to have mastered the art of comforting his mistress in times of need!

    Enjoy the summer and with every day remind yourself to show the dancer the beauty of where she comes from.

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  25. Sending you brave mom vibes. Remember, she's YOUR child which means you've taught her well.

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  26. marjorie03:13

    I can almost feel how soft Kille's tummy would be if rubbed. And his paws look so big and soft too. But I would hate to be a mouse, within his territory. I have two daughters who are on their own. One has completed her university degree and the other has 2 more college semesters. It is hard to let them go, but then they keep coming back to visit. I just spent the weekend with my college daughter in her new apartment.She was so proud to show me how well she is doing, and I had to meet all her friends. So I just couldn't be sad. Kids grow up, but I think the bonds get stronger as they become adults.

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  27. Jeannie04:57

    Happy birthday to the kitty, he's gorgeous! Want to give him a big kiss!! I try it with my cats, they don't like it much.

    Henry is as beautiful as the cat. I haven't the patience to do fairisle right now, I have in the past and I hope to again, just not right now, so I am really enjoying your work.

    Lucky daughter getting to go to Helsinki to dance, and poor mommy who has to stay home. My son is 16 and my daughter is 15, they are both very young for their age, but I can't imagine them going away. You're brave, and think how adorable she will look in all the cute ballerina things you knit for her.

    I love to see the photos you take around your home, show us some of your summer labor ones!

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  28. Anonymous21:59

    Just stopped by for a quick visit. Loved your "Henry".

    Did you know you don't have to turn the whole sweater when knitting top-down sleeves? Just untwist the sleeve itself. Once you get a few inches down, you'll only have to do it every other rnd. IE, when it gets twisted one rnd, twist in the opposite direction 2 times, IOW you untwist on the first one, then put a countertwist into it on the second one, which you will untwist as you knit the next rnd. Sneaky, huh?

    Joan, the only one who comments about the knitting

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